One, maybe two

I think I finally have friends here that I haven't met through my tour guide.
Last weekend my department went to a professional baseball game. Since I was given two tickets I decided to invite my roommate. I haven't seen a lot of her lately. She is pretty much living in another town right now, about 45 min away without traffic. She got a summer job working as a juvenile defender. It is a really long commute so she is staying with her fiance most of the time. When we were at the game we spent most of the time laughing at talking and having fun. Afterwards we walked home and part way I realized we had managed to form a friendship while living together.
The other friend (maybe) is the woman who has been training me at work. I enjoy her company and we are supposed to go to a concert soon. Unfortunately I'm not sure I can trust her to be more than someone to hang out with. She's a bit of a gossip and there are some things I would rather not have people at work know.
Other than that I still just have acquaintances at church. Haven't really connected with anyone yet, but I'm not giving up. School seems to be the only place I'm not making headway. My classmates won't talk to me. I'm not really sure why, but now that I'm at the end of the school quarter I know its not in my head. As people file in and out of class they ignore me. During break they will slightly turn away as I pass, just enough to discourage me from joining the conversation. Worse, a couple of them make comments under their breath whenever I speak in class. At this point I'm writing the class off and looking forward to the fall. Hopefully the next group of classmates are kinder.

A departure from the norm

I don't often talk about my faith. To me it is an intensely personal thing and is the absolute core of who I am. Not everyone gets to be that intimate with me. I will share what I believe to a certain extent, but what I pray about, what I struggle with, and my questions on how faith applies to the practical are for those closest to me. That said, this is something I want to share.

I don't know how long its been since I've been moved by a sermon. I have heard interesting sermons, and have liked some quotes, but not much more than that. Then I read a book called "The Velvet Elvis" and was blown away. For the first time in a long time I heard a new perspective on scripture. It is an incredible book and a fairly easy read. It reminded me that I used to have a heart for God and how strong my faith once was. I realized that I had been starving myself spiritually and a huge part of my unhappiness was a lack of actively living a Christian life.

When I moved to Seattle I was given a list of churches people recommended. One was called Mars Hill, and at the time I thought it was connected to the guy that wrote "The Velvet Elvis." Turns out its not, and the pastor has issues with that author, but this church is what I needed. I highly recommend checking out the sermons posted on line. The current series on misconceptions has been incredible, and very thought provoking for me. This is the first time that I have found a "lecture" outside of college that made me hungry for more information. What I really loved about it though was that for the first time a pastor gave a sermon directly aimed at singles. Most churches I've been to pretty much ignore the fact that there are people like me who are struggling with how to be a Christian adult and do things like date. It was amazing.

I am meeting with a community group from the church for the first time on Monday. I am hoping I will fit in and be able to make friends with other Christians. I want to have a place to call home again, and people that I know have the same core beliefs as me. It is something I have missed, and I'm not sure how I've gotten along without it. Then again maybe I didn't. Life got pretty bad, and I had to move two states away to start over. Maybe a church family can help me to live the life I want, and help me figure out how to become more like someone I can respect.

Here's hoping.

Where to start?

Christmas was wonderful. I flew home a few days beforehand and was able to celebrate a friend's graduation from college with her. Even better the celebration lunch was at a fantastic Mexican restaurant. It was nice to finally get some decent Mexican food. I hadn't had any since my family's Mexican Thanksgiving. Afterwards I got to spend time with a good friend, and later had good sushi with a couple of gal pals. It wasn't until I was there that I realized how much I miss have close girl friends near by. I've met some great people here, I'm just not as close to them as to the wonderful friends I left in CA.

The best part of Christmas though was just spending time with my family. No matter what I seem to do to my apartments just don't feel like home. Or at least not completely like home. Don't get me wrong, I like living on my own. I like being able to decorate the places I live, and I look forward to getting back to my own bed after I've been away.

Still, I get homesick. Its not something I really notice until I'm on the road to my parents, and its worse when I'm leaving them. When I first went away to college I used to call my friends on my cell as I was heading out. I would have them distract me until I was too far away to turn back. Its not really any easier to leave now. The only real difference is planes don't wait for reluctant passengers, and my dad can't just drive me home like he did when I missed my train.

After returning to Seattle for a few days I flew to Kauai a spent a week there with a friend. The weather was a huge welcome change and the air there was so incredibly soft. We went all over the island mostly just enjoying each other's company. New Year's was spent in our room watching a good movie and drinking champagne. Before you think that's pathetic you should know beach was twenty feet from my room. Hanging out there was not boring or a hardship in the least.

I think the best part of the week was when we went snorkeling. We paid for passage on a catamaran and took a tour of the Napali coast, which is only accessible by boat and is breathtakingly beautiful. On our way back up the coast towards where we would actually snorkel we saw humpback whales. They weren't very close but we got to see a couple of them breaching and I loved it.

Returning to work was not fun. Things are going better and I'm learning more every day. I'm now working without help, and to my horror I'm discovering that my help created a number of problems. Granted, he was more help than hindrance, but now I have to figure how he did what he did, and then undo it. On the upside my coworkers are warming up to me and I now have people to talk to. I'm also getting to know my boss and he's pretty entertaining. This week he started singing "Mercedes Benz" by Janis Joplin.

The only really odd thing is that I haven't seen my roommate in about three weeks. Between my trips out of town and hers we keep missing each other. It feels like I live with a ghost. At times its nice. I like having the apartment to myself and not having to worry about waking her as I get ready for work in the morning. To celebrate I've been turning the radio up so that I can hear it as I wander from room to room getting ready. Its nothing big, but its a luxury I miss from when I lived alone.

The only other thing I have to update is that I finally had time while I was in Kauai to do some reading. Its been far too long since I had the chance to get lost in a book and drown out the world. I finished five books while I was there and I'm almost done with a sixth. To some that may sound like a waste of a vacation, but to me it was paradise. Actually, I think I'm going to go finish my book now. I should have just enough time before I have to go to dinner. If not, I hope I'll hear the phone when my tour guide calls to ask where I am.

I'll keep you locked in my head

I went to the Seattle Art Museum on Saturday, which houses mostly modern work. It was nice, but for the most part I don't enjoy modern art. There have been a rare few pieces that I have loved, but what I saw at the SAM just didn't do it for me. The top floor was more my style with classical pieces, and some intricately painted china.
I prefer the Impressionists, specifically Monet's waterlilies. I know that's not unique, but I still love them. My all time favorite is on display in a small hard to find museum in Paris. Part of the reason I love them so much is that I got to go to Monet's garden in Giverney, which is where the series was painted. It was such a surreal moment to turn around a corner in the garden and feel as though I were inside a painting. I hope I never forget it.
A large chunk of Sunday was spent doing laundry and looking up books on the internet. I was extremely successful with the former, but not the latter activity. I've found a number of websites that I can use to figure out titles from what sketchy information I remember about various books. Until now, they've been extermly helful. This weekend all I could seem to find are book series that take place before and after the series that I'm searching for.
What really frustrated me is that I know all it would take in the past is a phone call to the friend that originally loaned the books to me. Only problem is the friend is no longer on the other end of the line, and its times like this that I miss her. The good news is there is a solution of sorts. An aquaintence of mine is a fan of the overall series and can likely point me in the right direction. Too bad it won't cure missing my friend.